Intense Detox is Fierce Love~

Intense Detox is Fierce Love

Heads up, this post is a bit Witchy & a bit medical, a bit of lots of bits of all of me.

So many bits I am not even sure where to start.

It has been really bugging me for quite some time, seeing people go to doctor after doctor, seeking treatments and miracles but then not doing what the doctor says or not complying with treatments honestly or still somehow poisoning their bodies with other stuff (diet etc). It bugs me. Why waste the time and energy, worry and money if you are not going to help yourself.

Then I realized… I am doing it too. Everyday. One cigarette at a time.

It’s time to quit!

I also realized I am NOT doing all I can to be the best version of me!

So it is time to start!

The diet/lifestyle change I have been on… I was 100% on plan that first 6 or so weeks, then cheated a little, a little more, a lot, and a lot more. I know the plan works; my lab work, the scales, the sizes of my clothes= it works!

So it’s time to get 100% back on plan!

Exercise. Belly dancing was to much so I’ve switched to yoga. I love it- when I make myself do it. The doctor says even on bad days I have to make myself move.

So it’s time to move, everyday!

Journaling. Every single course I am in says I need to do this! Yet I don’t. I put it off. I’m not afraid to type out and post my “stuff,” yet when I do sit down and write I write till I hurt and so I don’t even bother. I know it would be therapeutic. I discover so much when I write. I used to love writing. I need to do this.

So it’s time to journal.

Daily meditation, I know the benefits, why don’t I just sit down and do it?

So it is time…Still the mind.

February 1 is just around the corner and I have been preparing for it. I have written some spells and chants, the meditations and podcasts are ready, food fuelings and tons of water and teas are available, yoga challenge is ready for day 1 (again,) pens and paper are journal ready.

February 1 a new course starts, Sacred Seven and for that course I had to write an Intention. That is what started this Intense Detox! My Intention is to live a life of Fierce love & true magic. Fierce Love, those words are so powerful and what they mean to me is accepting all of me while improving the areas that can be improved, tough love as if helping someone I love live their most authentic self- only it’s putting that love energy into me. A love a mother has for their child, that care and nurturing love- only I am mother and child. This intense detox is Fierce Love! Strong and powerful and this Intense Detox is step one.

*image found on Facebook Paganesque

February 1-2 is Imbolc, a Celtic day of Celebration of The returning Sun and is a supportive time for this Intense Detox.

Here is a bit of info on that and here. I am using this as a time to prepare myself for newness, healthier newness body and soul.

And with the the waning moon this weekend, it further boosts the letting go of addictions.

My three days of Intense Detox are going to be rough I am sure. I have planned and prepared as best as I can.

I will take it one moment at a time, adding up the hours, to the days, and soon it will be a new lifestyle.

Wow! So there it all is. All of it.

Actually there will be another post of realizations but I am still absorbing that information.

I’ve got on my Warrior Armor! I’m ready.

Intense Detox is Fierce Self love. Wish me luck!

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A Good Dr Appointment~

Today was a simple appointment, the review of lab work! It was a good appointment!

I cannot remember the names, but some stuff was down 40pts and other stuff down 70 points, something to do with the huge diet and lifestyle changes I’ve made! My doctor was very excited about this. He even said he was proud of me and I should pat myself on the back for a job well done. The diet lifestyle changes are working!!!

So I left the clinic feeling pretty good about myself!

Then came the silent moments, you know those ones where you replay the whole appointment…

And I cried.

Again.

Yes I broke down at the doctors office.

As he read through my results I had my fingers crossed, waiting for the moment of “you are now out of pre-diabetic range!” But that moment didn’t come. So I asked him about it and I am still Pre-diabetic. That isn’t what made me cry though.

I am doing all of these diet and lifestyle changes, meditations, exercises (when I can,) positive thinking, meds on time (when I remember,) I am trying so hard to get better. To be better. Yet I don’t feel better. So I explained this to him. I mean seriously, even he can see my numbers, my trying to get better.

So why am I NOT getting better? I cried.

Then he explained, with pity in his eyes, yes I could see the pity- like he was having to explain something simple to a child who just wasn’t understanding the concept- pity!

You are not doing these things to get better. You are doing them so you don’t get worse. You are doing them to improve your quality of life. The life you need to learn to accept.

We have been through this so many times. I know it frustrates him. I don’t do it on purpose. I forget, I guess, to accept what is. I am always trying to change it. Trying to improve isn’t the bad part, but beating myself up over it and the depression that comes with the disappointment is bad. It’s blocking my peace.

*image from psychology today

So here I go again, into the acceptance phase of my chronic hotness! I wish I could remember how to stay in this phase instead of my expectations being so unrealistic! I wish I could remember “I am not going to get well.!

Thank you Universe~

As you can tell from the earlier post that Om having a rough go of things lately. After the earlier post I ran a hot epsom salt bath, lit some sage and just soaked. Contemplating all that is.

Well the mail lady knocked and left a package. A package I was not expecting till tomorrow.

A reminder that it’s okay to be #beautifullybroken

A reminder that I’m #perfectlyimperfect

Thank you Universe (and #bdrocks ) for the early delivery. The boost of strength. The reminder.

***

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Use Coupon code COSMICGYPSY for your discounts.

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I’m trying, but I’m tired~

Put on the face!

Put on the smile!

Put on the positive!

Put on the show to convince them I’m okay…

Or maybe to convince myself.

This winter has been rough! I’ve fought so hard to be “okay” but I’m tired.

I’ve spent almost all week in bed. Laundry untouched, kitchen a mess…

but you’d never know this by looking at my social media. You’d think I’m up bouncing off of walls. Nope! Just staring at the walls.

I read a lot! Listen to podcasts! I read some more…

I sleep through medication alarms and that only makes things worse.

Today I woke up so disoriented it was scary, I’m still trying to make sense of what is happening.

The down days turned into weeks and have now turned into months, I keep fighting, but I’m tired.

That dark scary place I once was prisoned in is calling me back. I don’t want to go there. It’s an indescribable place that only being there is fathomable to the human mind.

*images from Warrior Goddess Training

So I sit, and I think, and I try to remember what it was that for me out of there before. I thought it was hope and goals and new perspectives. But I have so much going for me now, more hopes and dreams at the tips of my fingers it should be keeping me motivated and out of bed.

A year ago I would have maybe agreed that positive thinking and frame of mind have a huge role in our quality of life with chronic illness. But having been full circle now, I don’t think that at all. These illnesses control our quality of life rather the rest of us agrees or not.

Today I am not in a place of acceptance. Today I am mad. Mad as hell that my chronic hotness is having this much control again. Damn it I have things to do and people to guide.

I’m mad at the moments of “remission” that give me hope just to drop me on my face!

Rationally thinking… I know better days will come. I know everything happens for a reason. I know I need to accept and just rest. I know all of this stuff. I know summer will return and maybe this year will be like last year. I know it’s okay to freak out as long as I don’t let it consume me. I know this.

So I put on the face.

So I put on the smile.

So I put on the positive.

So I put on my Warriors Armor.

And fight another day.

Image from Pinterest.

Perfectly Imperfect•Beautiful Disaster~

We all have those favorite outfits, the soft and cozy ones we cuddle in on the better days, the one that makes us feel a bit stronger, prettier, a little less… Disastrous. A Beautiful Disaster outfit.

I found this line of clothes on Facebook and haven’t been able to get enough of it. I’m sharing with you all because they truly make me feel prettier, more powerful, and describe how I feel on most days.

*I have become an affiliate with Beautiful Disaster Clothing, not to make money but to SHARE their mission and to SHARE with you how their statements make me feel.

When I wear my “Power” clothes I feel more alive. I feel less sick. No, the pain or illness doesn’t go away, but emotionally I rock those outfits.

Want to see the back of this eye catching beauty?

I get compliments everywhere I go! Which feels really good because I rarely go anywhere!

That was my first order with them, the shipping time was impressive! Then to open the box and the sweatshirt being so soft and so well made, and the images way more beautiful in person.

I have since ordered more. The most recent order is on its way… Capri yoga pants, the zip hoodie, and coffee cup with this saying…

It’s perfect. It describes me so well with all of this chronic hotmess that I am!

If this resonates with you too, here is my link and coupon code so you can check them out for yourself!

Coupon code COSMICGYPSY for your discounts.

My Special Link

#bdrocks #beautifuldisaster #beautifuldisasterclothing #perfectlyimperfect #beautifullybroken