Let’s face it, I suck at secrets of my own. I am an open book and I enjoy sharing my Cosmic Gypsy journeys and this one is no different, I honestly tried to hold it in till Friday.
So before I burst with excitement of the newest journey I have a back story to tell.
I have a love hate relationship with food. With junk food I love it. With anything I have to cook, I hate it.
Up until I started steroids this wasn’t a problem (or maybe turning 40?) either way I was always to skinny! I was called so many names (Gumby, toothpicks with tits, q-tip to name a few and got accused of so many things because of my under weight. My height at 5.10 didn’t help matters.
Then to try to “heal my gut” I’ve been on elimination diets of so many kinds trying to “fix it!” And of course that meant lots of cooking and prep. And OMG the bone broth diet- it was years ago and I can still smell it. Yuck.
Fast forward to the Addisons Disease diagnosis, lack of mobility, turning 40, whatever…
I went from size ZEROS to 12’s in a year or maybe two. I didn’t count because at first I loved having curves! Troll butt and I loved it.
My eating habits are terrible.
Double bacon cheese burgers and fries!
We even added in Hello Fresh (which I loved because I just cooked what they sent- no imagination or “what should we have for dinner”) but I would still not eat all day then eat hello fresh, but after a couple days I would binge on fast food and chocolate.
Forget cooking during the day unless someone else was eating!
It hurt to be in the kitchen- it’s a different kind of standing to cook, the intense pain made me not even want to eat when I did finish cooking.
Then add in IBS- yep everything went right through me because it was either junk or in shock from not being junk.
So you see, I have a terrible relationship with food. I hate it.
The weight just keeps coming.
And pretty quick that 200lb mark was to close for comfort, not to mention being considered over weight by one dr and obese by another. But the weight in numbers wasn’t what got me, it was what I seen in the mirror, it was how I felt after a binge, it was how I felt between binges, it is my adversity to the kitchen. I knew something had to change.
I tried a couple minor things, but didn’t stick with anything because Why? I hated food and I hated trying to come up with recipes, and I hated… I just hated.
A diet was not going to work for me. I needed a lifestyle change. And I needed it to work with lack of mobility not exercising blah blah blah because of all of the chronic illnesses and medications. But I also needed a plan and accountability…
and like I am going to find all of that in one place. So I give up.
No I am not trying to sell you anything!
A friend of mine had talked about her program. She was showing results. Her excitement was awesome, but when she told me about the lifestyle change I said “I’m in!”
Soooo… My package should arrive Friday, I’ll start the program Saturday. No, I won’t post the before pictures until I have an after picture. I won’t even be allowed to see the before until I’ve made a noticeable change ( hubby and I agreed on this.) But I am going to share my journey. Raw and unedited like always. So be prepared for whatever emotions come with a process like this.
Oh and yes, my doctor is onboard. We have went over the meals etc, he’s already ran blood work so we can monitor that! He’s approved everything and advised on taking my thyroid a bit earlier and to keep up on electrolytes and salt, but he will be monitoring me!
So- there it is. For now. I know I’ve been a bit vague about the diet/lifestyle changes, but as of now that is how I want it to be for a number of reasons which I will reveal as we go.
I’m cautiously optimistic but very excited about this. We all know that us Spoonies don’t have the same successes as healthy people, but I am jumping in, praying it works and with no adverse reactions to my chronic-ness.
True to Chronic Cosmic Gypsy ways, here I go on another journey!