Again

I was so sure I was getting better, in remission or just something that made me better.

I had so many good days.

I made plans.

I was thinking positive from the back of my unicorn!

And reality has her claws in trying to pull me back into that darkness called depression I used to dwell in.

I don’t want to go back there! I don’t want to live like that again.

And don’t anyone tell me to “think positive” because the let down of that is devastating!!! Yes mindset may be a major part of the battle, I do see that now. But seriously, open your eyes to the reality of CHRONIC-ness.

Anyway, I’ve spent the day in bed again today, unable to even read due to the relentless pain my head. So I lay there, in and out of consciousness, knowing there is so much I should (want) to be doing, but I can’t move. I just lay there with my pain cuddled up like a lover that I hate.

I don’t want to give up on goals and dreams again… but it feels like the choice is being taken from me. Again

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One thought on “Again

  1. I am so damn sorry. This is the monster that is fibromyalgia… it gives you a taste, just a taste of hope then takes it away! Damn chronic disease. I know the anger and I know the heartbreak, just get through it… just hold on. Damn it! It is so unfair, isn’t it? Fight. ~Kim

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