I was so sure I was getting better, in remission or just something that made me better.
I had so many good days.
I made plans.
I was thinking positive from the back of my unicorn!
And reality has her claws in trying to pull me back into that darkness called depression I used to dwell in.
I don’t want to go back there! I don’t want to live like that again.
And don’t anyone tell me to “think positive” because the let down of that is devastating!!! Yes mindset may be a major part of the battle, I do see that now. But seriously, open your eyes to the reality of CHRONIC-ness.
Anyway, I’ve spent the day in bed again today, unable to even read due to the relentless pain my head. So I lay there, in and out of consciousness, knowing there is so much I should (want) to be doing, but I can’t move. I just lay there with my pain cuddled up like a lover that I hate.
I don’t want to give up on goals and dreams again… but it feels like the choice is being taken from me. Again