Expectations & Realizations~

Once a month I have the house to myself for an entire weekend (minus the people checking in on me-which I appreciated.) These me weekends used to be ordinary days of being stuck in bed with my chronic ness. But this weekend was going to be different!

I was excited, I’d had so many good days that I made plans of lots of reading, studying, and working on my big project. I got treats for me to eat, I had it all planned out!

Friday night was restless with the old pains I should recognize. Insomnia. Sweats. Nausea.

Then today I slept on and off all day.

It has been like the other chronic weekends, spent miserable.

I hate this! I hate these diseases.

I’m trying to cope, to have a life of my own with these illnesses! I’m trying to cooperate. But how?

I’ll be having good days and set appointments, set goals, make plans but then something like a weather change 3 days from now turns my world upside down.

Yes, the weather in 3 days is what set me back this weekend.

How can I adjust to this?

Patience

Acceptance

One day at a time.

Gratitude.

Flexibility.

Or something like this.

My self expectations vs actual realizations are a smack in the face. I will fight this. I will not fail.

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