It’s nearly midnight and my mind is racing, not in a bad way, but racing just the same.
So much has changed in the last month, in a good way, but I am in awe and sometimes wonder if I am dreaming!
Nothing has changed health wise, all of that still sucks, but my perspectives have changed. Like a major emotional shift, seeing things differently.
I don’t think it’s any one thing but a combination of things! I’ve put in hundreds of hours reading, studying, listening to pod casts, watching videos, and so on, trying to improve my state of my. To heal emotionally. To set healthy boundaries. To stand up for myself and those boundaries. Basically to fix my heart and soul since my body cannot be fixed.
Plus, what else should I be doing when I’m bed bound (or nearly so)?
While most of the changes I am integrating into my life are positive, some are painful too.
Positive changes are things like being more conscious of my eating habits, being more mindful of my thoughts, working with compassion instead of judgement, daily meditations. The results are mind blowing!
My body may be stuck but my soul is soaring with possibilities!
On the flip side is how relationship dynamics are changing, it bothers me because I’m human and I love the people! I’ve allowed, accepted silently how I’m treated. But now that I’m saying “wait a minute, that’s not okay!” It is causing tension. I am trying to see with compassion that people are used to me being a certain way and them being able to treat me a certain way. I can see how this would be unsettling and unfamiliar to them. I’m trying…
But at the same I have to take care of me emotionally and that includes saying “wait a minute, that is not okay!”
I’ve tried to let them know that I don’t appreciate certain comments, that I expect their support, I have let them know. But they don’t seem to get it, don’t seem to care. I’ve turned this over in my head a million times, it hurts no matter how I spin it.
I cannot change how they will be, but I can change my perspective of it. And my perspective was worded nicely on a Facebook meme tonight…
Warrior Goddess training on Facebook has some of the best memes I’ve seen, and the one above resonates so deeply.
I’ve hit a major growth spurt emotionally and it doesn’t fit well with many of the people I used to resonate with so well.
I know, I know, life changes and people just grow apart. Not by any wrong doing or faults to anyone, it just happens.
It is now 12:28am and my fingers are not cooperating with me to write this. So I will sign off, I will be back soon with more perspective changes.
In the meantime, please remember it is okay to outgrow people.
Healthy boundaries are crucial to a calm, peaceful, low drama life.