Sunday Night Ramblings~

This post has no specific topic, why? Because I have nothing specific to talk about but a lot to say.

First, I am an avid reader when I can hold a book and see the words! I love books! Anyway I am currently reading Judgement Detox and just finished Awaken your Inner Fire. Both books really have me paying attention to my thoughts, but one specific sentence is HUGE NEON LETTERS in my mind.

*image from Gabby Bernstein Facebook images

Say it again, slowly, let it sink in…

“Compassion is the antidote to judgement.”

I’ve been having some issues about some not so supportive friendships and I’ve became very angry & judgmental but… when I turn my thoughts to compassion all of the anger and judgment goes away.

I’ve recently lost respect for people that I once respected because of my judgements of their actions. Again, when I turn my judgements to compassion the feelings toward them change.

Seriously, this seems like it would come naturally, I mean I am NOT a judgmental person! Wrong!!! I am way more judgmental than I ever realized and the realization is tough not to be judgmental of, but if I turn that to compassion for myself, I have hope for change. I see it in a new perspective! Life just feels better.

It’s awesome!

Okay speaking of judging myself, today I had an epiphany! A-ha Moment!!!

We went to an event today, hubby asked if I wanted “the chair” and I said no! I said no because I actually felt pretty good today. He asked if I was sure and my response “No, I can do it!”

And I did do it! I don’t know how many rows of exhibits there were, let’s just say 7! By the end of row two the pain in my back and hips were making me wish I had said yes to the chair, by the end of row 4 hubby was packing my purse. I wanted to disappear. By the time we left I was in so much pain I wanted to just come home. I ruined my day of having a good day, and why? Because “I can do it!” And now I’ve over done it, in to much pain, and painsomnia is probably cuddling up to me tonight.

Yep, you bet I could do it! But why? Why did I feel the need to prove to myself that I could do it? Why didn’t I just use the chair (I call her “lady bug” by the way) for what it’s meant for; to make mobility less painful, so I could enjoy a day out.

Why? I don’t understand why I can’t just accept that sometimes it’s okay to not be tough, not be perfect, not to fight, not to be strong.

So my goal this week is to come to an acceptance with Lady Bug and start viewing her as something to make outings more enjoyable instead of “the chair” of defeat!

Here is a picture from a couple of years ago, a rare moment of the her and I being in a photo together.

*that handsome man is my ever supporting hubby!

Well I have one more topic, but I’ll save that for a different post. Watch for “I almost bought it!”

Hope y’all had a great weekend. Much love!