50 First Questions~

Y’all have seen the movie 50 First Dates right? I love that movie! My short term memory sometimes reminds me of 10 Second Tom! Well keep that movie in your mind (memory haha) as you read this post.

Today I have had a discovery of the weirdest or scariest or saddest type. I don’t even know how I feel about it actually.

I used to do Astrology, I loved it! I loved the way people would respond when I explained the parts of their Natal chart (where the planets are when someone is born) that explain or describe who they are. I loved the calls or messages later from an excited client who seen the planets play out in a transit (where the planets are now compared to their Natal chart.) I loved it all.

Then I got sick!

I kept trying to stick with the readings but I couldn’t keep appointments, I couldn’t remember what planets did what etc etc.

So I stopped all together.

Then about a week ago I was asked what I loved about Astrology and like a veil pulled from the magic hat everything started making sense, the memories were flooding in. Then (I don’t remember what) something steered me toward the Elemental aspects of astrology. I’ve been like a kid in the candy store discovering new things and making tons of notes and piecing pieces together. I’ve loved it. I even wrote some daily guidance for next week based on Elemental interpretations-it’s awesome!!

Today I laid my head in my hands for a quick nap, upon raising my head I seen a tattoo I’ve had on my arm for years…

It’s the Elemental Star.

Wait! What?!!! That means… that means my love for the Elemental is not NEW, it’s a memory that is coming back!!! How can it be that I have no recollection of something I love so much? How does someone forget something like this? (Why couldn’t have I forgotten some bad memories from that time?) Why have I never questioned that tattoo before?

While I am thrilled with the memory returning, I am also disturbed, what else is missing still?

I knew my short term memory was horrible, I didn’t know my long term was missing pieces.

It’s pointless to dwell on it or try to fix it or anything, I know that.

I guess just be thankful for what’s coming back?

Ya know it also makes me wonder how many times I’ve taken the same lessons or asked the same questions from instructors or guides or mentors multiple times thinking it was the first time. How many times do I repeat myself? Is this why people stop answering me?

Oh my oh my has this stirred a new set of questions. But what do I do, ask them if I’ve asked them before, how many times? I honestly don’t think I want to know, it’s making me feel stupid.

50 First dates? Nah, I’m 50 First questions!!!

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