It's almost 4am and I've yet to do much more than doze off before the pain rips me from that sleep I was hoping for.
I think there are stages of painsomnia, like the pleading stage where I plead and beg for sleep, then the negotiation stage where I try to make a deal for sleep, and anger stage where I just want to beat the hell out of my pillow, the mourning stage where I mourn how very little sleep I will get before I have to be up, a grief stage where I grieve over every possible worst case scenario for my whole life… yes painsomnia comes in stages but I don't think acceptance is any of those stages. Back to the anger stage.

It's hard not to be angry when I've spent the last several hours in 7-9 pain. The kind of pain that makes my stomach turn and never eases. There is no positive to this, it just hurts.

I had hoped ranting about it would help, but I can see that is not the case and tears are blurring my vision.

Wishing you a happy and as pain free Tuesday as possible.


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