A dear friend posted on her Facebook about getting so frustrated/ depressed/ angry with her multiple chronic and some yet undiagnosed illnesses that “things went flying.” I can relate to that so much on so many levels of dealing with chronic illness.
I imagine a room with broken tea cups heaped in a pile, the emotion still think in the air, you can still hear the pieces falling…
Broken tea cups. That image quickly turns to a more thorough exam of the shattered and splintered pieces, not being able to tell one splintered cup from another, it’s a kaleidoscope of colors and shapes, jagged. It compares to what I (we as Spoonies) face daily~ what illness does this symptom belong to? Do I need more salt or more sleep? Is this crisis or a POTS flare? Is this adrenal pain or a transient fibro pain? The pieces are a jagged guessing game.
Most of the pieces never get put back together, I just move on to another day, and other day wrapped in such frustration that I may add another teacup to the pile, thrown in frustration, depression, anger!
I try to manage my symptoms, I try to decipher the pains, I try to stay strong, I try to “push through it,” I TRY! But I am so tired, so tired of guessing and not knowing, the pain that never ends, the emotional repercussions of dealing with this, the devastation of knowing I won’t ever get better…
Sometimes I just want to throw things and scream! To let it out! To watch the pieces fall.
Broken tea cups.
Sending love to Spoonie Warriors who have learned to make beautiful art from broken pieces! 💜