You’d think I would be used to going down again, you’d think my expectations for staying in the good day zone wouldn’t be so high, yet it surprises me when I go down (or technically flare up!)
But not only am I surprised, but extremely disappointed. I have had so many up days I was secretly hoping I was cured. Why do I do that to myself?
So here I am, 3rd day of this flare! I think it actually Started Saturday night, I remember having to concentrate really hard toward the end of the night to understand people’s conversations.
Anyway, the weather isn’t helping at all! It’s dreary and cold.
So what happens when I have a “down day?”
My head hurts, like worst hangover ever kind of pain! These colorful fogs I see when my eyes are open are still there when I close my eyes! And no pain medicine will touch it.
My stomach~ I’m hungry but nothing sounds good!! I try to eat anyway and it takes all I have not to throw it up. Not to mention the explosives emptying of my bowels that shouldn’t have anything left anyway.
My muscles feel to heavy to move and burn if I make them move. My bones and joints all feel bruised, badly bruised. To walk feels like every bone in the bottoms of my feet are broken.
Dizzy, shaky, short of breath from the pain, fatigued. Weakness…
I hate it.
Anyway, my mind is drifting to sleep again.