I guess I never truly realized~

Call it hope, call it dumb, call it whatever you wish, but the reality is sinking in! I guess I kept hoping that one day the right doctor would find the right diagnosis and the treatment would cure me and I’d got back to the healthier version of me. 

I guess I didn’t realize, not truly accept that having multiple chronic illnesses truly means that I won’t get better, that the doctors mission is just help me find quality of life! 

I kept going to the doctors expecting a cure, it wasn’t till last night and truly today, that there is no cure! This is my reality! 

Im not sure why I thought a cure, removal of all symptoms was the expected result. 

This reality feels like a ton of bricks loaded on me, yet at the same time I feel a peace to it, acceptance of you will. 

It’s a perspective changer. 

Starting now, the energy I do have is going to be used more wisely!


3 thoughts on “I guess I never truly realized~

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