“Omg She went to the store in her pajamas!”

Omg, yes I did and I will again! Sweatpants and a hoodie, a baseball cap or hair wrap pulled over bed head, no makeup, and possibly slippers- yes I am that girl in the store in my pajamas! And yes you may look at me disgusted by my laziness! I will paste on my best smile and tell you good morning at 1pm! But I have this to say to you…

I was up till 7am because of pain. I finally drifted off to sleep an hour before my morning medication, having missed two of my scheduled doses I woke up sick. The pain is intense still, I’m running a fever of 101! But I am feeling better than the previous few days. Yes I am shaky and finding it hard to stand! You look at me like I am a drug attict needing another fix- you judge me! 

I would have showered and fixed my hair befor I came but then I would have used up the energy I needed to be here! I would have changed clothes but due to the bloating everything is to tight. I’ll just get the most important things on my list- I haven’t left the house in a while so I am out of everything, I keep making my list shorter to get out of here sooner. Oh screw it, the pain is to intense, I feel like I could pass out, I am leaving now! 

At the check out line you watch my shift from one foot to the other, not being able to hold still, yow watch me rub my face multiple times *the blood is pooling in my legs I can’t stop moving or I will pass out, the pain of moving makes me begin to sweat, I pray that I make it to the car! 

And you stare, you judge, you are disgusted with me, my appearance and behavior!

I make it through the check out line with my 4 items, I get to the parking lot where I am parked in the disabled parking spot *you still stare, you are still judging* I slide into the drivers seat and lean my head back! I will just rest here a few minutes then I will make my way home, where the groceries will sit on the counter as I melt into an exhausted sleep…

And you judged! You had no idea my story! You had no idea- yet you were disgusted, you probably told your friends about me with a totally different context! You have no idea that this is everyday for me, a struggle to just look presentable, to get out of bed, to tell you this story! 

“Omg she went to the store in her pajamas.”

Yes, yes I did!!! A good enough day to leave the house! A good enough day to smile and tell you good morning! A day not spent in bed! Yay for me and my pajamas!!! 


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