This image from BBC was perfect for what I am going to attempt to explain.
As a spoonie I am so used to brain fog! I know what brain fog feels like, what it looks like.
Then what the hell did I miss? And how did I miss it?
Today I looked back on my last week, journal entries, fb and blog posts, and other things I’ve said and done and what I see is a very foggy week, yet I had no idea it was foggy.
I have gone this whole week talking about how good I am doing, how good I feel… I have been in a blissful state. Recovering, just like I planned…
Why would I post that??? My heart rate jumped 40beats when I got out of bed- my heart rate was not stable!
I do not see my fog, I do not feel like there is any fog yet there is definitely fog. So it’s like my thoughts are in a glass box, a glass box on a trampoline, that the world around me is bouncing on.
Stop this ride I want to get off!
I hate when I can’t tell what’s happening with my thoughts.
Like tonight, dinner needs cooked. Maybe there is stuff in the kitchen to cook dinner. Maybe there isn’t it. I should cook dinner. Hmmm. What sounds good. I should start dinner. Have I cooked this week? I did on Monday. I should look at what’s to cook. Dinner remains uncooked.
My thoughts are not getting out, just bouncing around in this glass box, on a trampoline.