Fear~ lately it has come to my attention that my list of fears is unrealistically long! I didn’t realize until lately that I have imprisoned myself inside a tomb of fear- and it’s scary in here! Pun intended!
I am afraid of usual stuff; snakes, spiders, mice, dark alleys, dark streets (our street is really dark,) I am afraid of getting lost, I am afraid of driving, wrecking, breaking down, getting pulled over. I am afraid of looking clumsy, stupid, shallow, and fat! I am afraid of making friends and afraid of loosing them. I am afraid to forget and afraid to remember. My list goes on and on, as does the list of ways I go about protecting myself from facing the fears.
Since it has been brought to my attention I am also noticing that I am not alone, many people are dealing with excessive fears! I don’t have the answer to overcome them, but being aware of them and looking at them with different perspectives is actually easing some fears.
But then I have a conversation, actually I was responding to an email! After I pushed the send button I realized that even though I have been very conscious of my fear talk, that I had expressed another fear; “be patient with my lack of cognitive skills… I’m actually very smart.” screams that I am terrified of looking stupid- which I am!
The ironic thing about this phrase “Face Everything And Rise,” is that “RISE” is my theme this year! Coincidence? I think not!
I am not sure where all of these fears came from, I haven’t always been like this! It is consuming, it is a prison I am putting myself in.
Well, I am busting out, I am tired of hiding from my fear behind imagined walls of safety and security. I am FACING EVERYTHING AND RISING! Like a Phoenix! Oh lol, the Phoenix is my symbol! I love how things all pull together and make sense!!!
*all images come from Google images, but I cannot remember which pages.