When did I become so freaking serious? When did everything in my life become a stressor? What happened to the fun and playful me? Life! 

I could tell you a billion excuses of why I turned so serious, I don’t consider them excuses, but the reality is what it is. Why did it happen this way? It’s like I got sick and my fun button got taken away the same day. 

Yes, Chronic-ness changes things, Pain changes things- I want to find a way to bring that fun me back! 

I’m too serious! I worry about everything! I FEAR EVERYTHING! And these everything’s are consuming me! 

Okay, now that I have admitted what is wrong, I need to figure out a way to fix it! 

I need to break up with fear! 

I need to pay special attention to playful!

I need to shake things up- rearrange! 

So much in my life is about to change. 

I don’t want to play by rules that I had set according to imagined limitations. 

I don’t want to put on a professional appearance according to the illusions in my head. 

I have built this little box around myself, enclosing myself in here alone with worries of going out there… then I opened my eyes and none of it was as it seemed it was. 

The walls start to fall away. 
I have had this bass ackwards, I am supposed to be living life, thriving not just surviving. Yes I am a chronic hot mess, but that doesn’t mean I wallow in my rut of fears and anger! I know how heavy this weight is, but I need to learn to change my perspective! 

Yes most days suck! No I cannot control the bad days! Yes there will be days I sink into the black hole of sadness! But… there can be new days, where even if it sucks I can find a way to laugh! 

If I were to disappear tomorrow I would be remembered for being uptight, worried to much, never let down my guard to have fun! I don’t want to be that way. 

Shake it up! Shake it loose! Shake it! 


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