A Mood Swing or Reality Check~

Just a heads up, it’s another pity party day, it seems they never end! 

First, yesterday we met with the doctor, it was weird just having a “wanna be my doc” kind of formal meeting! I’m still not sure how I feel about it. We do like him though!

More about yesterday, I over did it sums it up nicely! Not nicely! I feel like crap today! 

Add in the weather changing. AGAIN. And I am really feeling like crap! 

So, this could be a mood swing OR it could be a reality check! 

I am in bed most of the time, but before this I had passions, I had dreams and goals. Since I have been sick I have adjusted accordingly; most of what I love can be done via Facebook!

I am not unreliable, my health is! 

Intuitive Astrology/Clairvoyant/Medium/Tarot Readings~ I love astrology! I love the study and interpretation of what the planets are doing and how they effect us now according to where they were when we were born! I love the ah-ha moments people express when I do a reading! I love the intuitive readings and the medium readings, I love the guidance of an Oracle reading. I love it all! I used to give readings professionally, but I don’t anymore because my health is unreliable and I never know if I can keep appointments, I never know if my brain will be in a fog, I never know much when it comes to my abilities in an appointment setting capacity. So I stopped! But I missed it! I missed it dearly!!! I have a Facebook page,  Cosmic Trine, I try to give monthly/weekly/daily insight there, but that too, is inconsistent. 

Younique Cosmetics~ First off I am no salesperson! I started selling it only because I love the products, and I do love the products! But again, consistency is lacking, ability is lacking, therefore business is lacking! Who wants to buy cosmetics from someone who barely gets out of bed to put any makeup on? I do have a Facebook page Witchy Woman Lashes, where I post specials and videos occasionally. The good thing here is people do not have to depend on me for much- they place their order on my Younique website and the order ships right to them, but… I do not consistently try to put myself out there to find customers, therefore there is no “they” to order! 

Women’s circles~ oh I so badly want to start a woman’s circle, monthly meetings, meeting friends of like mind but there are problems here too- first is putting myself out there to meet women to join and second is meetings- what if I am sick and have to keep canceling. I have a Facebook page for public information for this too, Phoenix Rising public page! It is mostly uplifting empowering quotes for women, shared from other pages, but I still dream of the day for in-person meetings…

Do you see where I am going here? There are 3 pages I have going, trying to live my dreams  from the body of a chronic mess! I am not consistent on any of them there fore get little to no interaction (even from friends.) Yes I do the pages because I love what I do, but the inconsistency eats me alive. It’s a lot of work for little interaction. Is is time to throw in the towel? Time to toss these in the trash can? 

Is this a mood swing pity party or is this a reality check of I just can’t do it? 

It feels an awful lot like giving up! If I don’t have the pages what do I have left? On the days I do post, I have written or posted with passion, an excited tingle of self worth and purpose. But if no one would miss what I do, why am I doing it? 

I’m ready to delete it all! Just be done! I just wish I knew if this is a mood swing or reality check. 

Feeling confused. 


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