False Hope & High Expectations~

I do it every time, I even tell myself not to do it right before I start doing it. It goes like this…

After months without a truly good day, suddenly there is a good day! I mean manageable pain, better than normal cognitive functioning, days where I actually accomplish something! A truly good day! Then a second truly good day! *by this point I am already waiting for a crash because I have over done it, not once but two days in a row.* And then a third day happens. 

Somehow between days one and three I get hopeful that I am getting better!!! Remission on all symptoms!!!

Maybe it is the new medication! Maybe it is the warm sunny weather! Maybe it is the lack of stress! Maybe! Maybe! Maybe! 

I know how this works, I’ve done it a dozen times, I should NOT get my hopes up! But oh it’s so hard not to, 3 good days in a row, 3 days of feeling almost normal, and happy! Yes I must be getting better! 

Then BaMMM! The aches set in, the pain, the fatigue, my old friend Chronic-ness! 

  • Maybe it’s the cooling weather
  • Maybe it’s the moisture in the air
  • Maybe it’s… 

My reality slaps me in the face! With achy hands I wipe the tears from my tired eyes, and ask my foggy brained self why I let myself have false hope and high expectations! I get no answer in response! 

Anyway, I’m back in bed today! 

I’m still thankful for the good days, whatever caused them! 

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