Today I started a little game with myself, oh jeez, now I know I’m spending to much time alone! Anyway… I’m super depressed and irritable right now (I’ll go into that later,) it takes very little to upset me.
Today in one of my courses the video talked of gratitude raising vibration, easing stress, easing depression. So I made a deal with myself, for every negative I had to list 5 things I am grateful for. It’s funny when you are consciously watching for it, you see it!
It only took a couple of times before I was catching myself, the gratitude listings made a huge difference and wiped the ick out quick.
But I noticed something important, my mood shifted with my pain. Duh- we already know it does that! But I felt like I lashed out to distract myself from the pain in addition to responding to the pain itself.
I used to have a mantra “it’s mind over matter and this don’t hurt.” I would repeat those words slowly, breathing through the pain. I wonder why I stopped. I wonder if it helped. I cannot remember.
Oops- sidetracked again. Anyway… I was/am trying really hard to have an attitude of gratitude but omg for real? I am in pain! It hurts to move, it hurts not to move! How can I stay so grateful when I am so hateful about this pain I am in?!!!
And poof- lost my entire train of thought.