Everyone has those days when you wake up, pull the covers over your head and want to just disappear for the day. Today is one of those days for me. I just want to pull the covers over my head, call in sick to this body that torments me and escape, just catch my breath, feel no pain, reenergize the warrior in me the keeps me going.
Because I am tired. I’m so tired of these walls, this skin, this pain, the same things every day. I’m tired of convincing myself of new ways to get excited about life, of digging up a new course online to give me purpose, tired of trying to escape into books that I cannot even decipher anymore. I’m tired of this private hell!
Before anyone gets worried, no, self harm is not on my to do list. Today is just a day that I’m tired of fighting, I question the purpose of a life like this. I have these days every so often, then the Warrior in me get mad as hell at the pity party and pours gas on my passion for one thing or another. And I rise again.
I think just getting the words and feelings out of my head helps a lot.
I’ve got workbooks from online course that I will delve into. This life has a purpose, I need to open my eyes and look for it.