At this point I wouldn’t even call it brain fog, because pieces of my memory will just disappear! It’s maddening! It’s frightening! But it can also be… exciting?
50 First dates is my movie! I love this movie, probably because I can relate to it! Not to this degree of course, but I do know how it feels to have been some place repeatedly and have no recollection of it! But sometimes it works fine, sometimes it comes back easily. So maybe I am a 25.5 First dates kind of woman! (Btw- I am happily married, and my patient hubby plays Adam Sandlers role, but in real life! I am a very lucky Lucy!)
When I know that the dots in my brain are not connecting it is very upsetting. But when I don’t know, it can actually be exciting. I told you about the Ross Dress for Less and how excited I was to find one near our house. Again.
Tonight one of my besties (who lives an hour away) her husband posted that they had been in the town nearest my town, I was bummed because I am missing her and would have loved to see them while they were in town. As I thought these thoughts my brain was trying to kickstart itself. I could feel it! “Oh I know what it is! Here look!” And I proceeded to tell hubby about a wonderful care package my friend is putting together for me! It was exciting! I showed pictures she had sent! The excitement was fun!
My brain in the meantime, in the background of my excitement, was still trying to piece something together. A little while later I send my amazingly patient and understanding bestie a message asking if I had dreamed a conversation about a girls day on Saturday or if it was real…
Then break out the party hats, the conversation was real!!! Girls day!!! So I got to get excited about girls day twice and both times was like I’d heard it the first time. I would call that lucky in a way! Because fresh excitement like that feels really good!
Now I don’t know what kind of damage if any is truly being done medically or permanently but I know that if I have to have this 25.5 First dates thing going on, at least it does bring me joy and excitement sometimes!
I am a lucky Lucy because most of the people in my world are patient and caring, helping to kickstart my memories or smiling and making new memories when the old ones are lost!