It is none of my business~

Anyone who has read very many of my posts will remember that I often go off about friendships. It is a tender topic for me. Today I went off again! Here is the post I posted on Facebook. But first, let me explain what prompted this anger again…

When I started blogging it was because people had made comments about how negative my Facebook was because I posted about my health so often (like I post here,) so I found a new hiding place, here, now I didn’t expose Facebook friends to my reality. I love sharing my stories, not only as therapy for me but so others will see they are not alone! Awareness for my diseases, in a raw non scientific format. 

A long story shortened, I was witness and participant to another Spoonie sister being shunned in the same way I was! I give her the wrong advice of do what I did, go hide your true self from your friends. Like I did! (Except I didn’t realize till today that was exactly what I did- hide.) This poor sweet girl just needed a friend. Well, days passed and her posts were sad, she was confused about what and why she could or could not post- look what I had done! So I responded to her, and As I did, it was her who was the real friend and taught me a lesson! A lesson I wrote about on my Facebook wall…

“Thanks to my friend Xxxxx, I have came to a huge realization today.

…I used to post on MY Facebook, honestly about my health- how I was feeling- HONESTLY! But then people started getting upset because “I was always so negative,” “I never looked for the good,” the list of crap talked about my posts is long. I was angry and hurt at first, I changed to blogging so I could still talk about my day, my feelings- in a place where everyone did not have to BE EXPOSED TO MY NEGATIVITY! You all got to see an edited version of me! None of you had to see what was really me! 

Now how fake is that? How fake is your friendship to me if I have to edit myself for you? 

Being sick is my life, everything revolves around my many illnesses-EVERYTHING! 

People post pictures of their pets all of the time, their pickups, their new baby, food-omg the food- they post about their life! 

Just because your post is of _______and mine is of a new symptom/down day/doctors appointment THEY ARE NO DIFFERENT- you post about your life and I post about mine! 

Yes I post a lot- you try being bed-bound or house bound, rarely seeing anyone outside of the people in your home, not being able to do much— LIFE GETS BORING, THEN DEPRESSING!!!

I am sorry my life is not about new puppies, new babies, gum drops and rainbows, I am sorry you don’t like reading about my life- try living it. Try living it with judgemental unsupportive friends that say they care! 

Seriously, you see very very little of what I actually go through in a day. Those moments you call negative- what if those are the easy parts of my day- what if that is the positive? What if that post is a vent to just let out a little of what I’ve been holding in and a kind word is what I needed most?  

Call me attention seeker, call me drama queen, call me what you will- but you are terribly mistaken, I just want to talk about my life, my day, like a regular person. I want caring responses every now and then just like you want to hear how cute your new puppy or new baby is. Oh and by the way, if you call me attention seeker or anything along those lines- just delete me because you are not a friend! 

If I am to be authentically me, it includes my health, I will no longer edit myself for your comfort!”

So fellow Spoonies, be real, be you! Don’t hide from the people we think are our friends, show them the real perfectly imperfect you, then they prove if the friendship was true or not! Don’t hide YOU so people will love you! Be the real YOU so the right people will love you! 

Blessings to all! 

We are not Drama queens, we are Warrior Queens- we battle what most couldn’t even fathom! *Partial quote from my friend Helen💜


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