Tonight, actually all day, has been such a challenge, more than most days! The brain fog frustrated me to tears, hysterical laughs, venomous screams, then finally surrender.
I sit here wondering why my brain is not connecting the dots, to know they are not connecting is so harsh, yet I push myself! I try to be compassionate with mysef! If I were witnessing this in another person I would be compassionate, patient, and concerned.
Yet it is me, judging myself, for being “stupid” and “slow.” Then I get mad at myself because “you haven’t held down anything in 9 days! Of course your brain function is going to slow down.”
I’m sick of pushing through!!
I am sick of being sick!!!
I am sick of being me!!!
My grip of holding on is slipping!