How have these illnesses effected my life?
It would be easier to ask how my life has not been effected!
In other words, these illnesses effect every aspect of my life.
- I am no longer able to work
- More money is spent on medication than on rent
- My schedule now consists of reminders to take medications instead of appointments with clients.
- My social butterfly wings got clipped.
- I have to weigh the pros and cons of everything I do.
- Outings now depend on not being in the sun, not walking much, not much sensory stimulation- this list is long.
- Most friendships have dissolved, either because they are sick of hearing about my issues or I am sick of their “be positive” bs.
- Intimate moments depend on pain level.
- The depression
- The anxiety of leaving the house, to much to remember; medications, walking stick, wheel chair if needed, do I have the energy, how bad will it hurt later…
- Monitor heart, blood pressure, temperature
- Play guessing game to increase or decrease HC
- Hair has fallen out/ no longer hold color/
- Weight gain/loss/gain again.
As much as I would like to have a detailed thorough list, all I was coming up with were the negatives! But it all hasn’t been negative. I have developed a relationship with myself, a lot of self growth on an emotional and spiritual level has taken place because I was forced to stop- and listen. My relationships have strengthened, mostly because I have learned (as have those that truly care) what really matters.
So while I do have a list of negatives, the positives make quite a list of their own.