It’s 4am paINSOMNIA~

Well good morning world, or in my case I haven’t said Good night yet. Usually when the pain is getting to me and keeping me awake I get cranky, mad that I cannot sleep. Tonight has been different, it’s a peaceful insomnia!

My mind has wondered here and there, the pain flares here and there. 

Today, being the day it actually is, October 8, is a bitter sweet day for me! It’s actually what my mind has been stirring about. Isn’t it funny, that me (a Virgo) has had some of her strongest connections with Libras? 3 of my bestest of friends that I call sisters (Tam who I’ve known for 20 years)(Nonie who Ive known probably 30+ years) (Emilia I’ve known 2 years) are Libras, 2 of them share a birthday! Those two have never met each other, nor will they ever because one of them was killed in a car accident 4 years ago (that’s Tam) It was two years ago I met the other birthday girl (that’s Emilia) and quickly became such good friends it’s like we’ve know each other forever. 

Today I am torn, I want to cry and mourn because I miss Tam but I also want to sing and Dane for Emilia! Tam would want a happy day, no moping! It’s funny how similar the two are; brutally honest, serious but fun, yet loving and patient. 

So that has been where my mind has been tonight; remembering the times gone by, looking forward to what’s yet to come, hearing voices and laughs in my memories, imagining what I would say to Tam if I could have just one more hour. Trying not to take for granted now, that I took for granted back then. 

All this thinking is peaceful, so as the pain intensifies and I adjust again, my mind is someplace else, not sitting here with the pain. It’s actually very strange. It feels like a strange silence. Like a soft falling snow in the middle of the night. 

It’s 4am, the paINSOMNIA is keeping me awake, but a strange silence is keeping me calm. 

Happy Birthday to all of my Libra Sisters! Emilia, Tam, and Nonie! I love you all three!❤️❤️❤️


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