That is how much sleep I got last night, zero-zilch-nada and it is severely messing with my head!
And YES I can hear the Healthies in my life saying “be more positive!” My true response starts with a F and ends with a u! But this is my blog so I will be nice…
Let me put it to you like this; try having the flu after running a marathon that you were not in shape for, you’ve been up for days, a headache that cannot even be put into words, and everyone around you thinks you should be performing at normal healthy capacity! Now, this everyday, day in and day out for YEARS!
First of all, most of you couldn’t handle it, you’d miss your old life, the reflection you used to see in the mirror, you’d miss your friends, you’d miss having a career!
Second, the pain, the pain, the pain- not like a pain healthy people have experienced!
Third, this all will mess with your head. Make you think thoughts you wouldn’t normally think.
Yet, us with multiple (or any) chronic illnesses LIVE THIS EVERYDAY! Do not expect us to carry this load positively, sometimes it’s to much! No, we don’t put it down, we keep going! Sometimes slowly, but we keep on keeping on!
Now that that is out of the way.. This freaking sucks. Lack of sleep makes everything worse, and everything being worse causes lack of sleep. Today I want to push myself over the edge so I just drop from exhaustion. I just want to stop for a little bit.
I’m trying so hard to put on a “I’m okay” show, but I’m tired. Tired. Tired.
Today is a very important meeting! Then the 8 hour trip home. Yay me!!!
Okay rant over.