Yesterday I was booming with excitement, it was my 40th birthday, everything was good! My 40’s were going to run smooth and be nice to me…
I didn’t sleep much last night, I was excited for the journeys I was to start today.
I rolled out of bed, knowing emails were awaiting my eager mind, the classes for Red Tent Inititiation and Practical Priestessing start today!
I made coffee and checked emails. I noticed the cyst on my ear had grown infected (Disappointment #1) so I emailed the dr, who emailed back with directions for antibiotic till removal on the 9th, an already scheduled follow up for my regular health issues and checking on the removal of an ingrown toenail.
My morning continued, I was getting cranky and panicky. The pain was increasing. A simple statement from my bestie brought the morning into focus— I forgot to take my morning medication!!!
But I got distracted and did not take them at 10 when I remembered…
Instead I found myself in the bathroom at noon, loosing the entire contents of my stomach in both directions.
When “things” slowed down I took my meds and surprisingly held them down! I then crawled into bed where I remained for a few hours.
Oh NO, the fun didn’t stop there…
I had to cancel dinner plans because I was still sick. So hubby brought home pizza. I was able to eat. One bite though, it had really hard chunks of… Something. As I spit the bite into the trash I knew instantly my teeth are breaking. Luckily it was only one tooth, but still! And no, the pizza wasn’t that hard! I was warned about breaking teeth because of the Osteoporosis, I guess I figured it wouldn’t happen to me!
Well it did happen to me, all sorts of weird and wonky stuff happened today! Such a different day from yesterday!
Today has been one of those days that I question why I keep fighting this loosing battle. I ask myself what is it all worth. I do not see the point in an existence that is so littered with pain and new doctors. Days like today I just want to give it all up!
But I won’t, because I know this moment will pass and I will remember the reasons I don’t give up. I will remember my purpose. I will have the strength once more to keep fighting. One moment at a time, those moments lead to hours, to days, to weeks, months, years. Just get through each moment.