Sleep deprivation messes with emotions! Some nights I’m fine. Some nights I’m mad. Some nights I think to much. And some nights are on the weepy sad end of the spectrum. That is tonight’s flavor, sad and reminiscent.
Missing loved ones long since passed. Replaying conversations and events, the wish I would have’s and wish I wouldn’t have’s.
Finding the words, thoughts, and strength to make amends and confront monsters from the past- yet no one is awake to hear what my heart is screaming.
Yet, it all feels peaceful! Maybe even a bit of closure. Like something has let go of its grip on me. Like I opened the box, looked through its contents and it is just was it is.
Anyway, here I am night number two, hurting so bad yet the sandman is nowhere to be found to offer me an escape. Again- it is what it is.