As Spoonies we have a list of things we wish health people knew. We wished they knew and understood. Our spouses, our friends, our care givers, our doctors- we have a list of “I wish you knew.” But what if, they wish we knew something too?
One day I sat down with hubby and son and I told them some of my “I wish you knew and understood’s” then I turned the tables. First a look of confusion, then one at a time they began their list. A list that was almost as long as mine. We cried, we laughed, we talked.
Some things on their list…
- I wish you knew how scared I am.
- I wish you knew how much I worry but don’t show it.
- I wish you wouldn’t feel so guilty.
- I wish you wouldn’t beat yourself up over things.
- You do contribute, maybe not physically but emotionally.
- I wish you knew how strong you really are. You are the strongest woman I know.
- I wish you knew my anger is not at you but at this illness that destroys you.
- I wish you knew how bad it hurts me to see you like this.
- I wish I could touch you like I used to.
- I wish you could understand you are not a burden.
The lists go on and on. Things I had no idea they were going through! Responses I was not expecting.
So if you get a chance to have this conversation, have it. Some answers we don’t want to hear, just like some of our list they don’t want to hear. But some responses will blow your mind.
Healthy people reading this, what are some of the things you wish that us spoonies knew and understood?