We Pray. And then we pray some more.

We all pray that we give our kids the best we possibly we can! We pray they learn from us, That we set a good example. 

With a chronic and “genetic” illness or several, we pray most that we don’t give them this. We pray for the ability to give them anything and everything. But not this! Please not this. 

We watch for the symptoms as they grow. And we pray. 

We see symptoms, yet we say nothing because maybe they will go away. Sometimes they do. Sometimes it is our fear seeing what we don’t want to see. Sometimes it is not. Still we pray. 

Then comes the moments of undeniable symptoms, the accumulation of many symptoms that I prayed I was not seeing. And we pray some more. 

And then the question “Mom, it’s another fibro thing isn’t it?” 

Wait what? “Another?”  You’ve been thinking it too?  

And the silence is broken. 

I want to apologize, say I’m sorry for giving this to you. I wonder if you are secretly mad at me for this thing you might/ probably have. The guilt is heavy! 

I’ve spent your entire life protecting you from harm then you get this harmful thing from me. From Me! 

I pray it isn’t that bad. I pray it is manageable and tolerable. 

I pray. And I pray some more. 
Many a candle I have lit, another candle I will light sending prayers that you don’t have to fight this fight.  BB

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